Jeremy

He did nothing special for me
Neither did he show attention nor concern
Well, yes, he knew I exist…
But as just as anybody else,
Just a classmate whom he manages to simply smile or nod at
And sometimes cares to exchange some words with
When he meets along the way.

But despite this, I still loved him
And I don’t feel bad. I’m not hurt by his indifference
I am satisfied loving him this way
Loving him from a distance.

Through him, I discovered something great about me
I realized I am capable of giving freely, voluntarily,
Without any favors nor demands in return.
I learned I could love someone without expecting
And hoping for any form of requital

And, it really feels so good
To look forward for the next morning,
To spend the night eagerly waiting for the daylight to brighten the earth,
For it means it would be another day for me to see him,
For me to see his beautiful eyes and heart-warming smile.

These realizations make me really glad
– that I am able to be this way.
That I can be this way.
I can truly love.
Silently.

Summer 2000

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