Jeremyran

Are you there? Hi there. I’m reading your poems now. Okay. Hey, why is there always a sad tone? ………. If you prefer not to answer, no problem. I was just asking. Forget it. ………. How are you today? ………. …She couldn’t reply. She was just staring at the monitor Her fingers rested on the keyboard Her mind couldn’t give a reason. She was struck by his question. Indeed, why is there always a sad tone? She asked herself, “Is it because I usually write when I feel low? Or sad themes are what I’m good in writing at? Or is it simply because I’m just actually sad…” Then she read again the poem entries she posted She sighed. She thought she was able to disguise the real pain With the plain words she used But damn! She didn’t seem to hide it after all. He saw it. He felt it in her words… But next time you feel sad Do come online and speak to me. She really wanted to cry Not because she’s sad again But because she’s glad That somehow Someone offers an ear That for

My first call for my December 9, 2009 shift came from a retired teacher. His name is Ralph. The call was generally about the performance of his six-year-old battery back-UPS where his MAC pc is plugged into. He fired up some software functionality and features inquiries which I believe, and hopefully, was able satisfy him with the answers I provided. He expressed his thoughts to the fact that APC (the company I work for) has no software that could enable him to adjust the configuration of his back-UPS through his MAC computer. Then he went on by explaining why APC should work double time to make the software features available for MAC operating system. Generally calls I receive each work shift are fine. Some cause me to “nose bleed” due to customer’s complex issue or problems. However, these situations are our way, as Technical Support Representatives, familiarize, learn and excel in the task at hand. But with this particular call, it was quite different. The technical aspect of

I’d like to paint my day With vivid colors Of the sun rays With the warmth and flavor Of brewed coffee With the scent Of the cold morning dew And with a solemn prayer Of wellness and gratitude… Pleasant thoughts and feelings Would add spirit to the canvass So I’d like to spread a smile By just letting you know I’m reminded of you Every time I paint Another day of my life’s portrait… August 2005

Infatuation a time when the world seems in a perpetual springtime and the person of interest is nothing short of perfection. If all our days we live this feeling of infatuation Life would be such a joy But things turn differently As people get used to each other Then infatuation fades and is replaced either by true love, or disinterest. by Bashar Al Nasser, A Poet with Pinching Sense of Sarcasm But given the choice I would choose neither Not romantic true love Nor a disinterested one. Instead, I hope for friendship Friendship that withstands Any seasons of life Any differences in time And ways of living A Friendship that is perpetual And thrives around the world. by Jeremyran, a hopeless romantic July 2005

In his absence I began to ask myself if I was ever been enough I thought of all of those times we shared Did I value his ideas and insights? Did I recognize his fears and uncertainties? Did I give him the chance to soar high? Did I make him feel how I love him? Was he happy with me? Gloomy as it may seem But did I assure he had enough memories of happy times To reminisce in his solitude And to look forward to of carrying on? I never thought it would be as painful as this Pain is even an understatement I feel extreme grief and fear What if that would actually be the last time of seeing him? What if he’ll never be back? What if that was all the time for us? However on one hand Despite that extreme fear I have this overwhelming hope and prayer That each passing day Becomes one day less of waiting For him to come back home November 2009

If my days should be over And be given the chance To relive some moments of my life Among them would be The time I spent with you… For just less than forty-eight hours You made me feel reborn I see the world differently now More blissful More colorful More full of life I’ve also realized I can be like this So weak in your arms Secured by your touch Calm by your side Fulfilled just by your stares I understand better now Some things aren’t that easy Some can really be so cruel Some wishes won’t come true Because life can’t really be perfect But still happiness would always be found I know things have to end In their due time And if it’s already time to for us To walk away from each other I would surely cry But no longer would I weep much I’ll just think of those moments That blissful time When the world was just you and me When you just held me tight When you made you feel so right When you made you feel so loved September 2005

I’ve held myself From feeling this way Because I know it’s just not right But the more I bottle it up The more it struggles The more it conquers me But if I tell you now I feel the same way for you Then what? Would it make me happier? Would it make me feel better? How can I be? When I know I couldn’t get any closer to you I couldn’t cuddle you into my arms Because somebody else holds you dear How can I be happy? When I know I’m just satisfying myself With the little time you can afford me With the little space in your heart You can provide for me Tell me… How can I be? How can I be totally happy? September 2005

I naturally take risks… I close my eyes Then firmly stride ahead With great hope And unwavering will Fervently burning in my heart But with you… I’m afraid to go any further I’m not brave enough to take the risk Because I know From the very start The effort The time The sacrifice Won’t be worth it I know… From the very start It couldn’t be right It couldn’t be real It wouldn’t be fair They say … It’s better this way To have loved And be loved Then be hurt in the end Than had nothing at all But still… I refuse To take the risk with you It’s too painful already at the start And I know I’ll be at the losing end Mending a broken heart Picking up the pieces of me again August 2005

Shattered. That’s how I feel now. What did I do to deserve this? If this is just a game for you, Please stop it. I don’t know how to play your game. I refuse to join you. If this is just an amusement for you, Kindly hold it there. Not me. I’m not entertained. Walk away. Far, far away from me. Leave me alone. I’ve got no time for online games. August 2005

He called her Moon. She pouted. She didn’t like it. He asked why. She replied "It’s like you’re telling I’m fat! Has round face like the moon." He laughed and gently told her, "You’re my Moon Because you light my life. Like what the Moon does in the dark night sky. The object that I always look up to In the silence of solitude." She thought for a while. Nice. Taken. Deal. She agreed to be called Moon. They talked for hours Family, work, Life, love They laughed even at the most simple things. Then he called her honey. She didn’t like it. "Just Moon. Nothing else." He felt bad. But he understood. And never mentioned it again. Then she called her sky. However, he told her not to call him that way. She wondered why. He replied, "The Moon and the Sky are related, While you and me are not. The Moon dwells in the vast Sky. While you, you refuse to be mine. I can’t be your sky." The Moon laughed and tenderly said "Where else could the Moon stay Th

You are there To laugh with To talk with To hang around with To eat with To sit beside with To travel with To dance with To cry on And to be with You are there Cannot be drawn nearer here Because you are there… December 2001

My spirit is heightened Every time I have the chance To think of you To talk to you To be with you To be close to you But it somehow hurts me When I try to figure out Who am I to you How do you feel for me Am I just a friend Whom you feel like talking with When you have nothing to do Or when you are bored? Am I just a friend Whom you hold When you feel cold? Please tell me I want to know NOW Before I completely fall That in the end I would heal by myself The wound of falling Just the same November 2001

He did nothing special for me Neither did he show attention nor concern Well, yes, he knew I exist… But as just as anybody else, Just a classmate whom he manages to simply smile or nod at And sometimes cares to exchange some words with When he meets along the way. But despite this, I still loved him And I don’t feel bad. I’m not hurt by his indifference I am satisfied loving him this way Loving him from a distance. Through him, I discovered something great about me I realized I am capable of giving freely, voluntarily, Without any favors nor demands in return. I learned I could love someone without expecting And hoping for any form of requital And, it really feels so good To look forward for the next morning, To spend the night eagerly waiting for the daylight to brighten the earth, For it means it would be another day for me to see him, For me to see his beautiful eyes and heart-warming smile. These realizations make me really glad – that I am able to be this way. That I can be this w

One Sunday afternoon, On top of the grassy hill, We sat next each other As we faced the horizon Flashed with vibrant hues Of the sunset You never uttered a word You just sat there You did not look at me Nor sent me a smile You just sat there In complete silence But the clever wind Whispered to my ears Your heartbeat Your sigh I wanted to cry When I heard what they meant I’m no longer in your heart But the tears ran dry Then I realized Tears won’t make you love me again So I just satisfied myself By sitting next to you As we watched the sunset In silence One Sunday afternoon Summer 2000